Changing

Sunday morning. It feels like 10 years have been packed into 10 months... I have so much to write and process, but the words are always stuck somewhere between my heart and my throat. Grief, hope, trauma, longings, loss, creativity, sadness, joy all become knotted up. It’s always felt selfish to focus on what I need. But, in doing so, I’ve been changing and rearranging. I’m working through layers of defenders, wounds, and unrelenting and irrational expectations I’ve placed on myself. And then there’s the shame I’ve allowed to permeate my heart. Regular work with a therapist to unpack and sort through the years is meaningful to me in these times. Mental health, or the lack thereof, is real. The words of Alexandra Elle spoke to my soul this morning in regard to my current journey.

"Hard Truth: There will be people who don't get or like that you're changing. It's not your job to unpack that. Stay present and focused on your growth."