Posts with the category “grief-journey”

There are times of the year, whispers on a breeze, a song, a smell that can fill me with feelings of love, deep sadness, hope, excitement, and sometimes, even paralyzing fear.There is a version of mys...  Read More

Dear Michael,It’s your earthly birthday. I’m so thankful we purposely celebrated to distinguish from Christmas gifts and parties.There was the simple homemade meal because money was tight as we starte...  Read More

Sam turned 16 in July, but the hunt for a truck started a year ago. This market made it impossible to find one in the right shape, right miles, and right price range.A couple weeks ago, a private sell...  Read More

Don’t get me wrong, Michael loved Jesus. He could have the most theological discussions with doctorates in the field, quote more scriptures than most from the King James, play hymns on the piano, and ...  Read More

I didn’t take photos this weekend. But I’m reflecting this evening the gifts of my mom, my mother-in-laws, sister-in-laws, my grandmothers, aunts, and women who poured into me over the years … and the...  Read More

HEAVEN?"When I cease to live on this earth, please do not say I 'lost the battle' to cancer. That could not be further from the truth. No, when that time comes, when I make the transition, it will be ...  Read More

As redbuds bloom and tulips turn their heads toward the sun, it’s bittersweet to think of the difference a year makes. It’s spring – literally and figuratively. After months of being quiet and reflect...  Read More

​When you’re pregnant, you pick up the classic “What To Expect When You’re Expecting.” Once the baby arrives, there’s the “What To Expect The First Five Years.” To help you plan a wedding there are gu...  Read More

I’ve been needing to write about what I haven’t wanted to acknowledge… I’m sad AND angry.  I’ve never done well with either emotion. I’m a fixer, I fix things. I’m also not a fan of pain. Who is, I g...  Read More

​It was another first this week when I didn't travel home from an "adventure" with Michael or he wasn't happily waiting to pick me up at the airport. Overall, I did much better than I expected other t...  Read More

Shortly before Michael died, Facebook executive Sheryl Sandberg ended 30 days of intense mourning for her husband who passed suddenly the month before. She penned one of the most moving, impactful and...  Read More

​With the sunrise three weeks ago today Michael flew to heaven. It feels like three lifetimes. His gift to me over the weekend was finding three more of his journals he had safely tucked away.  I alw...  Read More

The solution seemed simple to me. God would perform a miraculous healing of Michael from the deadliest form of brain cancer here on earth. As believers, we would give Him all the praise, live our live...  Read More

​When I reflect on the outpouring of support and love for our family this week on so many levels in so many ways, I feel a deep sense of gratitude and these words from Anne Lamott capture the collecti...  Read More

​Our view a year ago today as we took what now was our last family vacation. We were departing OKC at sunrise with a large storm moving in. I could NEVER have imagined a year later I would be burying ...  Read More

​This is a photo I've never shared, but I look at constantly... Michael smiling at me from his hospital bed on Sept. 27, 2013, after we were told he had a cancerous brain tumor. We still didn't know t...  Read More

I've heard it said "the price of great love is great misery when one of you dies." But I would pay that price over and over again no matter how painful it feels now to have the great love that came in...  Read More

​Before we were married in 2003 (and before Grey's Anatomy elevated the significance of a post-it note) I pledged my love and commitment to Michaelon one that he promptly placed in his billfold and ha...  Read More

​For two weeks I haven’t known what to say.  In short, Mike has a new brain tumor located in an inoperable location next to his brain stem.  There also appears to be significant swelling in his left h...  Read More

​Confession.  I’ve been having a pity party. Pitiful, I know. I’m not the one with brain cancer. I’m not the one whose young daughter has been diagnosed with a cancerous kidney tumor. I’m not the one ...  Read More

​Can you believe it's been one year as of Oct. 7, 2014? 12 of the 18-24 months we were told we have? I distinctly remember the fear and sadness I felt, the pain Mike was in after surgery, the comfort ...  Read More

​Dr. Mark Gilbert, our MD Anderson neuro-oncologist, said Mike's MRI results is, "better than good - they're fantastic!"The two places they thought were tumors being suppressed by the chemotherapy are...  Read More

Some days the fear sneaks up on me.I’ve been thinking a lot about the fact it was a year ago The Thief entered our lives. It was spending every second casing us, appearing in the background of our pho...  Read More

I can’t believe I’m still surprised when something happens that can only come from God.  Why have I tried to rely on Him on a day-to-day basis since the beginning of this journey, yet seem surprised w...  Read More

The cry was heartbreaking. I could tell the child was the same age as my son. He was pleading with his mother to make the hurt stop. I couldn’t see them from the waiting room, but I couldn’t stop my t...  Read More

​Today's Jesus Calling said ... "Do not fear what this day, or any day, may bring your way."We've taken a few hours to process the mixed results from the MRI scan we received this morning. Mike's surg...  Read More

… Doesn’t always stay in Vegas. The week following our trip to Houston and the MRI, we had a planned trip to Las Vegas for Mike to attend an annual AICPA conference. The conference and travel was conf...  Read More

We were so excited by the diagnosis, we rushed to Houston Hobby airport only to arrive five hours before our flight’s departure time … So, with the extra time we have, here is a quick update of the pa...  Read More

Waiting is hard. No news isn’t always bad news. Be open-minded. All these thoughts are on a continual loop in my mind. Since Mike’s first round of treatments ended Dec. 19, 2013, we’ve enjoyed a r...  Read More

Mike convinced me in Sept. 2008, climbing Mount Katahdin in Maine would be our next hike.  I always measured whether I was game for a new adventure he was planning with two questions:  First, “Is it ...  Read More

The week ended much calmer than it began.  As I shared last Sunday, Mike’s reaction to the pneumonia shot and initial radiation treatments caused swelling that needs to be controlled.  The usual presc...  Read More

From Jesus Calling … “Sit quietly with Me, letting all your fears and worries bubble up to the surface of your consciousness. There, in the Light of My Presence, the bubbles pop and disappear. However...  Read More

The prayers are working. Each day becomes a little less daunting.  An email, a message, text, meal, card or call comes at just the right time. The words, smiles and hugs are perfect. There have been c...  Read More

There are times in life when news comes you are never prepared to hear. I’ve experienced a couple of those moments in my life, but none to date like occurred this past month. It’s the kind of news whe...  Read More

The last two days in the hospital were filled with therapy and doctor visits. Each day Mike enjoyed walking down to get Starbucks and looking around the expansive MD Anderson campus.  Our highlight wa...  Read More

I’m sorry it’s been a few days since we’ve posted an update. It’s been important to me that Mike reviews the updates before they’re posted.  He feels comfortable enough tonight to do so. Monday (Oct....  Read More

Friday (Oct. 4) was busy.  We started the day with lab work at 7:00 AM and went from appointment to appointment for a total of six different meetings. We left our last appointment around 5:00 PM.  I w...  Read More

​We met with Dr. Amy Heimberger at MD Anderson this morning. We were immediately comfortable with her personally and are completely confident with her professionally. She confirmed the “abnormality” i...  Read More

​This is for our wonderful friends, family and prayer warriors who have provided so much support the last couple of days without having any details yet on what we are dealing with other than our reque...  Read More